Tuesday, July 13, 2004

I have come to realize that I live in a fantasy world. I think it has something to do with not being satisfied with where I am and always wanting more. I live in my own world with my own thoughts sometimes. I find that sometimes when I'm with people I'll just tune everyone out around me and just think to myself. The world I've created in within my mind has become better than the world I currently reside.

That's not necessarily a bad thing, though. Everyone dreams of becoming bigger and better than they are. My problem is that my thoughts have started to interfere with my real life. I suffer because I live in my fantasy world so much now that I neglect my real world duties. This isn't to say that I'm imagining myself in fantastic tales of heroism and mythology. It is more that I think about what if's. What if I did finish school? What if I had chosen a different field earlier? What if I had gotten more experience in this while I had the chance, what if I took my music more seriously? What if things had worked out differently?

It's weird that I do this, though because I'm a staunch believer in avoiding what if's. I know I can't change the past and the choices I've made. I can only accept it and move forward. The longer I dwell on it, the longer I stagnate and don't get anywhere. I know these things, yet I don't put them into action. I frustrate myself sometimes.

On another note:
I have a job interview on Friday!

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