Sunday, April 08, 2007

We are visiting a large city on a business trip. I think it is supposed to be New York, maybe Chicago. We look for our hotel, which is an adventure in itself. When we find it, it has the most complicated elevator system imaginable. It only goes up to certain floors, then you have to move to another one to get to the other floors.

As we are moving up to the 30th floor, we take notice the rooftops of the adjoining buildings and comment on how they don't look nearly romantic as they do on TV shows and movies.

After finding our room, I go out and get some food and bring it back to the room. I notice that they gave me an extra sandwich, so I'm excited. The people I am sharing my room with are watching some farming show. On the show, they go in to the back room to where they are milking the cows. For some reason, the cows are held upside down and the milking machines are attached above them. They are about the slaughter the cows when I leave the room.

I decide to take a walk through the city and end up in a large park area. I quickly glance at the schedule of upcoming plays that were going to be held in the amphitheater in the middle of the park. I eventually find my friend Carly and we sit and talk and I offer my extra sandwich. While we are out there, we run into Christopher Guest. We don't realize it is him until a little while later. Apparently he is really fond of his truck and is cleaning it out.

Eventually, we have some sort of business meeting and it is time to go. Carly and I don't exactly have a ride back to the hotel. She decides it'd be a good idea to take Christopher Guest's truck and before I know it, we are driving off in it. The plan is drive to the hotel where my car is. She'll drop me off and take the truck back while I pack the car with both of our stuff and then drive back to pick her up.

I'm a little nervous, but it seems like it'll work. At some point, I turn to look at Carly and notice that she appears to be asleep at the wheel. She has her head against the steering wheel, but her foot is still on the gas pedal. I start trying to wake her up with no results. I try to poke, tickle, shake her back into consciousness. I even threaten to make out with her hoping the horror (or the excitement) of such a proposal will wake her.

I then see that she is not asleep but is quietly sobbing. At this point, I have my hand on the wheel guiding us through traffic and trying to figure out what is wrong. She tells me that she was talking to someone earlier and that he was mean to her. He said something along the lines of her smelling bad.

We are coming upon an intersection and I try to casually mention to her this situation by saying, "stop. . . stop . . . STOP!!!" She keeps on going and luckily there are no cars approaching from the sides.

It is apparent at this point what I must do. No, not take the keys out of the ignition or shift the car into neutral. I climb into the drivers seat into Carly's lap. Keep in mind that she is about 5' 2" tall so the seat is already close to the steering wheel.

As I am driving sitting in the lap of a person much smaller than me, I imagine how I could possibly explain this situation to a cop or even Christopher Guest.

I wake up at this point and I'm kind of sad because I would've like to see how this played out.

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