Monday, August 20, 2007

There is a new menace looming over our neighborhood. Behind our houses is a large rainforest from which a deadly group of undead warriors have come from. Fortunately, Arnold Schwarzenegger is there to save the day. He and his assistant, a man wearing all black. This includes a black turban with a single red ribbon that flowed through the air when he fought. During the melee, Ah-nold loses his right hand. Unfortunately, he misses an opportunity and does not attach a chainsaw to his stump (An Evil Dead/Army of Darkness reference for the confused). Instead he just bandages it like a wuss.

Before the climactic final confrontation, we meet the Governators son, in a classic movie "awww" moment. He is about five and asks questions in that annoyingly cute way that only kids in movies can.

It is important note that the blood of opposing forces will kill anyone that gets it into their system. This creates tension when one of the bad guys explodes on the turbaned warrior. Thinking he is dead, the general of the undead army scopes the area. The turbaned warrior springs from his hiding place and stabs the general through his undead heart with a special ceremonial stake of wood, the only way to "kill" him. The general staggers a bit before collapsing. Arnold, like a pansy, is nowhere to be found.

Now that the forest is safe, I take the opportunity to explore. I come across a small stone wall that forms a very large circle. Thinking it is a well, I look over the edge and notice a large carving. I walk down the hill and notice that the entire area opens up and that it is actually a large Buddha sculpture that sits about 10 stories high with an elaborate staircase leading up to him. I curse the absence of a wide angle lens.

Later, I find myself chained to a large group of people on a snowy hill. Above us is a fence, much like a privacy fence used in backyards. It is the only thing holding the avalanche back. We break free of the chains and while everyone else is running down the hill, I run across to another part of the fence that runs perpendicular to the original. I scale the fence just as the snow rumbles down the hill.

I go back to my house to wait for the others. Holt and Natacia arrive and we walk to the grocery store down the street. On our way there, we see a near accident happen at an intersection because a motorist did not yield when a caravan of ambulances and police cars rolled through. We end up having to give a statement, and even though we feel that the emergency vehicles were just using their sirens to not stop at a red light, the motorist should have yielded.

Back at the house, I let the puppy out and am desperately trying to close the gate so he cannot escape. While I'm out there the following exchange takes place.

Holt: When are you leaving?
Me: Tomorrow morning.
Holt: I thought you were leaving on Sunday. . .
Me: Tomorrow is Sunday.

Classic Holt.

Listening to: Flight of the Conchords - Most Beautiful Girl in the Room
via FoxyTunes

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