My front tire splits the blades of grass as I cross the lawn in front of my house, a duplex in the corner of the quadrangle. I pick up the bicycle and carry it up the steps of the porch and rest it against the railing. I debate whether or not it will be safe overnight, but I wave it off and enter the house.
My mother meets me with a large grin. She's excited about something and tells me I got a letter in the mail. I ask her why she is so happy and she admits it is because I finally have a girlfriend. She has been bugging me about my lack of a relationship. I tell her not to get ahead of herself. Instead of producing the letter, my mother attempts to mimick the my new girlfriend's handwriting, labeling it "dolphin writing." I am amused at her attempt, but I tell her the original will be just fine.
I take my bike and go to her house to meet up with her, but decide to stop by the store first. It is an outdoor store, filled with equipment for cycling, hiking and camping. I pick the bike up and I notice that chain has fallen off of the crank. I leave the bike outside while I run inside to check on a few things. As I leave the store, I see a friend of mine with a guy who is not her boyfriend. She leans in and kisses him and it is apparent that she wants more than a peck. I walk outside and she sees me. I try to avoid eye contact and grab my bike.
I spin the crank, hoping the chain will latch back onto the notches, however after closer inspection, I see that the rear crank has actually fallen off. Instead, I put one foot on the pedal and ride the bicyle like a scooter, using my other foot to push off on.
I get to her house and I am greeted by her roommates. The roommates get me to join a game where they are using a nail gun to shoot nails at a target. This nail gun looks more like an assault rifle and I watch as the first person shoots a nail over the entire target. Someone decides to stand on top of the target and we advise him to get off. I take my turn and hit the bullseye three times. Although this is fun, I really miss my girl so I leave the fun behind and search for her.
I search for her through the house, and run into other people. Some others try and get me to watch Super Troopers with them, but I decline. As I leave, I watch someone eat Cheeto's with mayonnaise.
I finally find her room and look inside. She's sitting at her computer, her neck cradling a phone while her leg rests on the desk. She sees me and smiles. I enter the room and close the door behind me. . .